Thought Catalog

College Humor does this hilarious video series called “Prank News Network,” that is just getting better and better every week. In it, fake newsman “Mike Holland” (comedian Dan Hodapp) asks unsuspecting people on the street for their opinions about recent news items. The catch is that the stories he’s asking about are totally fake. The one above features a question about Jay-Z and Beyonce remaking the ‘Harry Potter’ series and more than one person compares it to ‘The Wiz,’ the Diana Ross-starring ‘Wizard of Oz’ remake. Oh wow.

In this one, he asks people their opinion on Taylor Swift already picking her next five ex-boyfriends.

It’s pretty shocking what people will believe just because you’re telling them while holding a microphone and wearing a suit. I mean, I’m sure they go through a tone of people who agree to comment and then realize the joke’s on them, but the amount…

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When it comes to fashion tips, it sometimes seems that everyone and their mother (literally!) has tried-and-true style advice they absolutely swear by. Some are useful, while others … well, not so much. With that in mind, we’ve culled 101 style tips from the best: designers, lifestyle experts and, of course, our staff. Trust us: With these gems, you’ll be well on your way to living your most stylish life.

101. Despite what it says on the tag, cashmere is best washed by hand. To dry it, use a salad spinner, which releases excess water in seconds.

100. Use white wine to remove red wine stains.

99. Wash new jeans twice before taking them to the tailor. Why? Because jeans will always shrink in length when washed.

98. To stop angora or mohair from shedding, fold the garment and place it into a zip-top bag and freeze it for at least…

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Thought Catalog

All of these statements about male celebrities, brought to you by no one.

Tommy Lee Jones

“Oh my god, Tommy Lee Jones is such a rude bitch. Why can’t he just smile? Is that so hard? When I see him, I just want to slap that smirk off of his face. And did you see his hair in Lincoln? Just atrocious. Who does Tommy Lee Jones think he is?”

Ashton Kutcher

“Did you hear that Ashton Kutcher cheated on his wife? What a slut. Why would he ever cheat on Demi Moore? He can never do better than her. Let’s make t-shirts that advertise what a whore he is. I wonder if he’ll ever get a job again or if this will hurt his career. Now that everyone knows he’s a tramp, who’s going to take him seriously?”

Jonah Hill

“Jonah Hill used to be a tractor-sized, obese humungous…

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You’re New

I sat across from you and next to him. So quickly, I was comfortable laughing and joking along. I haven’t had this much fun in a long time. We looked at each other a lot, daringly, boldly. after awhile, the table was packed so I had to crawl over it to get to the bathroom. You walk up and suddenly we’re making out. I don’t know. I was too drunk at that point. I just know it happened. We went to another party and eventually him and I lost you.

The next day you message my on facebook. I judge, that’s quick. In the back of my mind, I like it. You invite me out and I grudgingly accept. You pick me up in your vintage-y Volvo. Volvo’s too similar to vulva. You can talk. I like that, especially since I tend to be reserved. We get to your apartment and then we’re playing beer pong with your roomate, 2 on one, listening to nineties and classic rock. We’re all dancing. I’m happy. I’m fucking happy. We walk to a party and I hold your hand so I don’t loose you. Your roommate and I laugh and talk to strangers will you fight your way to the bathroom. I try to be your roommate’s wingman, but it’s a sausage fest.

You and I go out onto the crowded porch. We look at each other and kiss. We hear a guy sitting on the rail mutter a comment about us. I look at him, we look at each other and start passionately making out. Great minds think a like.

I tell you we’re not having sex tonight.

We go back to your apartment, talk and eat with your roommate until he goes to bed. We got up to your room and play around. No sex. We talk until 4 am. I ask you if you voted for Obama. You ask if I’m pro-choice. We say yes. I fall asleep in your arms, the first time, you tell me later, that a woman has fallen asleep in your arms. We wake up and have shower sex, then bed sex. We kiss. We kiss so much.

You take me home and I spend the day in bliss.

Thought Catalog

I woke up this morning wanting to write a thoroughly informative article about the Voting Rights Act, a law put in place in 1965 to protect the voting rights of racial minorities, particularly African-Americans, in the South. This law doesn’t just single out the Bible Belt; California, Florida, New York, North Carolina and South Dakota, and some parts of Michigan and New Hampshire are also included. It essentially provides a safety net to ensure fair voting practices in places where racial discrimination tends to flourish. When a state or county wants to implement any in an evolving range of voter suppression tactics like, say, literacy tests, or failing to provide multi-lingual ballots, they have to run these — and any — changes past the Federal government, who will then tell them if it’s okay or if they’re being dicks to minorities again. In other words, it’s a no-brainer. It’s…

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Escape to Reality

Today, 5 May, is the anniversary of the birthday of that gloomy Dane, Søren Kierkegaard. Kierkegaard, who was born in 1813 and died on 11 on November 1855, has been called the father of existentialism. If you don’t know what existentialism is, just read Ecclesiastes. Existential thinking often pertains to the state of man apart from God.

Existential writing is often full of angst, but what I love about it is that it’s honest angst! Angst and dread are entirely appropriate responses to a life apart from God. It’s the raw honesty of Kirkegaard that turned me into a fan in my 20s. I loved his damning critiques both of godless society and the institutional church of his day. His parable of the duck church is an all-time classic.

Kirkegaard certainly wasn’t a radical just for the sake of it. There is evidence that he lived with constant pain…

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